Easy as 1, 2, 3

Greetings from the other half of "the adventures of young ben and sarah woodward"... Sarah Harrison Woodward. Well, first my name was Sarah Elizabeth Harrison and then my name was Sarah Elizabeth Woodward and then it was Sarah Harrison Woodward and then it was Sarah Elizabeth Woodward and now, I say with a sigh and a laugh, Sarah Harrison Woodward.

You may be wondering if this is simply indecisiveness, which is my trademark according to those who know me best. Actually, this is not a case of indecisiveness, but more so a record of my initiation into the strange and frustrating bureaucracy of our nation's capitol, Washington, DC.

On Friday, January 30, 2005, Ben and I went to the Washington, DC Social Security Administration, located blocks from the office where I work. Anticipating that this would somehow be more difficult than it should be, I was prepared for long lines and many papers to fill out. I did not anticipate that my name as I desired it to be upon my marriage to Ben, making my maiden name my new middle name, was not an optional name change in the District of Columbia because it is not the name stated on my passport...? The lady at SSA referred me to the post office where I could have my name amended and thus have my new social security card registered under the name of my choice. At this point I was curious as to how the post office working with the passport office has more authority to change one's name than the Social Security Office of the United States of America. Alas, Ben and I went around the corner to the only post office I knew of in the area. This office referred us to the post office a few blocks away that handled passport matters. Upon speaking with a post office clerk, we were given a congratulations and an application for a passport renewal, in which I assume I would just write in the name of choice (I've always liked the name Isabella...). A gentleman standing beside us at the counter piped in with the words, "The passport office is just down the street, 19th and L." Great, we thought. Maybe someone at the Passport office can help us. Before entering the passport office and going through the metal detector, we would ask the security guard about our situation. His reply was, "We used to amend passports, but the law has since changed, requiring that all people must apply for a new passport with their new name." At that point, we realized 1) the lady at the Social Security office was misinformed about passport amendment procedures and 2) it is good and right that the District of Columbia never obtain full statehood status.

Recalling that a good friend of mine, Amy, who changed her name in VA, did not seem to have the problems I was encountering, we rushed home to find the nearest VA Social Security office and made it to the office just in time to be met with a CLOSED. Undeterred, we tested the doorknob, opened the unlocked door, and took a number as we were instructed to do by the patient, jolly customers (editorial note from Ben - at this point the security guard, apparently recognizing his mistake, rose from his post and locked the office door.) Our number was soon called, and remarkably with a few letters typed here, a signature there, it was done- I was Sarah Harrison Woodward! (Ben - VA IS for Lovers!)

Or so I thought. It was not until we left the office and were joyfully driving away that I opened the envelope containing the receipt, which read: "Sarah ELIZABETH Woodward." It just couldn't be true! We were so close. I returned to the office the next business day in hopes of making the change hassle-free, but sadly it seems that the moment the name was submitted it cycled through miles of cavernous digital network, never to be altered again by human hands. The only thing the attendant could offer me was a new, blank application.

to be continued...